Business and Pleasure

Business and Pleasure

Mornings never used to agree with me, but certain Friday mornings away from home does have their appeal - how Ronan manages to persuade me to do this, when I could be finishing up that bloody Patterson project, I'll never know. Still waking up with his arm around my waist and looking into his drowsy eyes really is a treat I wouldn't want to miss. How did I go so long without a boyfriend?

He began kissing me, but I caught sight of the time and untangled myself from his arms, he threw the alarm clock a nasty glare and got up too.

"Slept well?" he asked when catching up with me in the shower.

"Hm, you snore," I answered and he laughed.

"Just noticed, eh?" I grinned against his lips, chuckling.

Ten minutes later we were drying off and getting dressed. Ronan had been rather disapproving of my habit to skip breakfast in favour of working the first times we slept together, somehow it seemed almost as if he expected me to go along with anything he wanted, this wasn't on my agenda, but keeping my boyfriend was, so we ate, chatting away about this and that. When I was done I checked the time and sighed, I had to be at work and I'd hoped to stay a little while longer; I smiled cynically at myself, whenever had I become so attached to him?

"I'll have to go," I murmured while washing up my cup; another thing he was disapproving about, letting dirty dishes wait - I'd thought he was a neat freak and my intuition had proven right. In all honesty I found him rather eccentric, but for the time being I let him have his way, in his house at least - it didn't mean I had to clean up my dirty dishes, I was short on time as it was.

"Already? I haven't made you late, have I?"

"No, don't worry. So are we still doing tea at your friends' Sunday?"

"They're counting on it."

"Lee and Sebastian, they'd be there, right?" he nodded, "at least people I've met." I went out to put my jacket on and to find my shoes that had ended up somewhere in the sitting room the night before when the atmosphere had been - well, too hot for shoes.

He rose and stood by the door while I searched. There was a far too serious expression on his face, slightly guilty if I read it correctly, or at least very awkward. Now what? Another triviality he had to point out?

"Sean, I need a word before you go." Another triviality of course; I sighed, but smiled at him sitting down in the big chair I'd fallen in love with when first coming here. Ronan sat on the footstool in front of me. "Now don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think I should be your client anymore."

"What? What are you talking about?" my boyfriend had just gone from eccentric to slightly mad in my eyes.

"Well, since we're lovers now, it's not such a good idea, is it? I mean with you, well, working for me." I glared at him for some time before answering and when I did it was in a cool clear voice that stated clearly I had taken it the worst way possible.

"I've never allowed my love life to interfere with my work, ever!"

He rose and folded his arms - I had got the distinct impression that he was used to getting his way when he did that. Of course he sometimes talked as if he had a right to ask obedience from me or something similar, I found it vaguely laughable but somehow sweet.

"I know, but well, I'd feel more comfortable..."

"You're not comfortable with my work?" he gritted his teeth and shook his head in frustration.

"That's not what I said, it's just... well it's not quite ethical, is it?" he said. "What if someone found out at work? It would reflect badly on you if you were caught having an affair with a client." I froze, he was of course right, but the thought someone would find out about the affair itself was more horrifying.

"I've never let a client go..." I began and when he seemed about to have another go at me I held up a hand. "BUT I see your point, I agree. It's rather a shame, though, we'll see less of each other." I kissed him as I got up, he was smiling as we said goodbye at the door. He wouldn't be leaving in a while, he was after all his own boss and could afford being late. Bastard!

Insurance people are a breed of misers who're tight fisted about money not even belonging to them - they're rather hateful people I must say, but I suppose they'd all blame it on their bosses. As it were I had after several times ringing made them reimburse me for my stolen car and I'd scraped up enough to get myself a new one. It was an Audio, gleaming silver, used, but not a bad car - far better than the heap of metal they'd stolen, it even had a car alarm, which was obviously it's best feature as far as I was concerned.

I realised while singing along with the tape I had in the car that I didn't have my folder for the last assignment with me, it was still in my apartment. This meant a long way around so I picked up my cell phone and rang the office to tell them I'd be in shortly - at least there were no meetings this morning.

After getting the papers I headed back towards work, but noticing I was heading for a queue, I quickly decided on another route, which although it was longer was probably faster than being stranded in a long line of cars not knowing when to get out of it.

It was on this rather more scenic road that I to my surprise saw a young lady, seeming vaguely familiar, walking very fast with a large duffel bag in one hand and a shoe with a broken heel in the other. She was wearing a fancy red dress, far too fancy for daywear actually. I stopped at a red light watching her - for no other reason than that she seemed familiar - as she sat down at the bus stop beginning to dig through her duffel bag. That's when I knew where I'd seen her.

I stuck my head out the window.

"Oi , darling, need a lift?" Brian looked up slightly offended and then his face lit up and he waved, picking his things up. The light changed as he stumbled into the car and the cars behind me let me know they didn't find this in the least amusing.

"Thanks, you're my hero," he twittered, the tone was fake though I realised as his eyes were red and he had mascara on his cheek. He dug through the bag and found one low heeled shoe and then another; he pulled out a pair of trousers and a blouse. "Mind if I change in the back?"

"If you can... wait I'll pull over!" he sat back down after trying to climb between the seats.

I smoked a cigarette outside while he changed and returned to the front seat; and while I drove off again he was reapplying his makeup, telling me to drive carefully or he'd get eyeliner everywhere.

"So why didn't you change at whoever's place?" I asked disinterested.

"Long story... do you think that dress makes me look like a... do you think it looks cheap?"

Well what was I going to say to that? It was way to revealing for a man to be wearing, but then again the only thing properly male about Brian was his dick and though that was plenty male you wouldn't have known he had it at all.

"I know nothing about dresses," I said and he looked hurt. "It was... nice, you looked fine."

There was a long painful silence and he wouldn't look at me. I felt guilty. We hadn't talked much about that time at Peter's parents, but I knew he remembered even though he pretended he didn't, it made things tense between us when we met. He didn't even ring anymore and leave embarrassing messages on my machine - not that I missed them, much.

"Oh, Sean..." his voice was less than a sob.

"What happened?" I quickly asked, seeing him smear mascara on his temple with his fingertips.

"I don't know! This morning he started telling me such... appalling things, you should've heard him! He went on about being drunk and not a fucking queer and told me I was... Oh, I can't say it, it's too disgusting. There was no way I could stay there another minute so I grabbed my clothes... not before he thumped a bloody phonebook over my head, but..."

"Are you all right? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"I got out of there, didn't I? High heels come in very handy when you're a frail little queen you know," he laughed somewhere between a giggle and a new sob.

He was really upset and wouldn't admit it, I hated myself for not being able to say the right things or being comforting and supportive - I was far too self conscious to deal with people in tears. I caught myself wishing Ronan was here, he had a way with words that I'd never have. What would he have done? He'd have bloody told me this wasn't about me, that's what he'd done.

"Listen, Bri, do you want me to take you somewhere? Hospital?"

"Don't you need to get to work? What's it to you anyway?"

I bit my tongue not to say something sarcastic or hurtful - I did have that annoying tendency after all.

"You're more important than my job," I muttered while watching a lady with two children intently as she crossed the street in front of us - she gave me a quick look as if wondering whether I was taking aim.

A strange gasping half giggle escaped him and he turned towards me, his breath catching. I glanced at him with a quizzical look shrugging and he gave me a broad smile, his face showing a sort of relieved yet doubtful happiness.

"I... I could kiss you, but I suppose you'd kill me..." he laughed.

We came up outside the office building where I worked and I was surprised to see it - I'd driven there without thinking.

"Bugger, wasn't I taking you somewhere?"

"This is fine. There's a tube around the corner, isn't there? I can walk." He was again emending his makeup and cleaning the blackish blue smear away covering it up with some more makeup.

"I should've taken you home," I said.

"It's just fine, darling, never mind!" he twittered.

I held his duffel bag while he pulled on a beige double breasted jacket and put on a pair of glimmering earrings. In a twinkling he was picture perfect.

"Well, ring me, all right?" I said and he nodded.

"And... Thank you, Sean, ever so much," he mumbled and threw an arm around my neck kissing my jaw which was as high up as he reached. I knew I stiffened, but I was very proud of the fact that I didn't push him away, I mean we were standing right outside my office for god's sake.

He waved as he headed off towards the underground and I raised my hand as well walking through the glass doors. I felt rather good about myself 'you'll patch things up with him' Ronan had told me. This had not been the way I'd imagined.

As I entered the lift, Jeannie called for me to hold it, I smiled at her as she dove in beside me. She brushed her hair out of the way and shook her head.

"Car wouldn't start," she explained and then continued chuckling. "I saw your excuse, you naughty boy."

"What?" I swallowed hard and felt my cheeks go pale - she'd seen me with Brian.

"So, spent the night I take it, saw the bag too. On a Thursday?"

"Don't know what you mean," I stated.

We walked out of the lift and I fled towards the loo. A small crowd was as usually gathered around the table in the restroom, the recurrent faces; Mary, Cameron and the others - the office grapevine personified.

When I came out Jeannie looked up from the table smiling at me and Cameron beckoned me towards them. I froze on the spot trying to breathe evenly while my mind were making up wild stories on its own accord.

"All right there, Sean? Had a long night?" he hollered; they all laughed and I gritted my teeth.

"No wonder then we didn't stand a chance girls , right?" Charvi said and now the women giggled and Cameron laughed as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard - at least they didn't seem disgusted; I opened my mouth to reply, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"What's so funny?" my boss said and I wished for nothing but a quick death on the spot.

"Sean was kissing his girlfriend in the car park, and I was telling them how positively lovely she is, no girl here will get near Sean now," Jeannie said and I felt as if cold water had been poured over me - girlfriend? They believed that Brian was my girlfriend?

"So that's why you're so late, eh? Hm, well we don't want it to become a habit now, do we?" my boss chided and I shook my head.

"Jeannie?"

"Hm? Yes, just a moment," she finished her conversation and hung up. "What was it?" she smiled with a sort of knowing glimmer in her eye - she was inclined to really savour finding things out about me, it was a game to her, I believed in keeping my personal life to myself and she took that as a challenge and worked hard to find out the details I withheld.

"I was wondering , could you maybe take over the Starke project?" I said, wondering if I'd really chosen the right person to ask this of. Not that she wasn't good, she was at least as good as I was, if not better, I simply tended to finish quicker.

She looked at me in surprise and I smiled weakly, pouting pleadingly. I was feeling more and more that this was a bad idea, I never gave up a client, she would put me through the third degree over this and if she didn't find out why she'd never let me hear the end of it.

"Why? I had the impression things were going brilliant," she said, sounding amused and then she picked up her calendar.

"It won't work out, I'm afraid," I muttered.

"Really? Why not?" she continued - well wasn't she the most meddlesome...

"It's personal!"

"Oh, I see," she said with a taunting tone and I knew she'd somehow made her own assumption. Then a bantering note came into her voice "Did he make a pass at you?" I winced and she noticed giving a chirp in comprehension. "He did, didn't he?"

I tried to fend it off and pretend I hadn't a clue what she meant, but she got up and walked around her desk sitting down on the surface looking like a medium who'd just seen her words reflected on my face. This was apparently very funny to her, to me it was just too close to the truth to be funny - but how wrong I was.

"You know he's a queer, don't you?" she asked I shrugged. "And now you don't want him as a client, that's discrimination you know?" she laughed. "Not to mention completely silly, it's not catching, you know!" there was a clear ridiculing note in her voice.

"Well it's not like that! And for that matter I'm up to my neck in assignments and I don't have time! So do you take it or not?" Jeannie appeared confused by my short tone and she shrugged slightly nodding.

"Fine, but I don't intend to explain to him why you suddenly decided..."

"Fine, don't!" I left her office without looking back and slammed the door to mine.

I wasn't sure what to tell Ronan about my day when he asked on the phone in the evening, it was after all his fault I was now deemed the homophobic of the office, so I simply said I'd done what he asked and then made some excuses about having to work, which weren't completely untrue - I always had to work.

Saturday he rang again to confirm Sunday's tea and to ask whether I'd like to see a film or come over; I fed him more excuses about working, but this made him worry it appeared and after he'd asked several times whether something was wrong, I told him sarcastically that I was having an affair and hung up.

Half an hour later he was outside my door tapping his foot while waiting for me to open.

"Don't you dare hang up on me ever again, that is the rudest most ill-mannered behaviour I can imagine and I most certainly won't take it from someone who I'm in love with, understood?" he said while fettering me with an icy glare, I swallowed a tart reply and smiled repentant.

"Sorry..."

I lead the way into the kitchen, absentmindedly picking up some socks from the floor and shifted some folders so he could sit at the bar between the kitchen and living room area. He didn't sit however.

"Tea?" I asked weakly - his piercing eyes were getting the better of me.

"No thank you, I'm fine," he stated sharply. "Well, don't you have anything but 'sorry' to say to me?" his arms seemed to fold all by themselves as I put a cup down on the bar for him. Looking away I continued making tea, tea took care of most things, Ronan was never angry over a cup of tea - it wasn't in his nature.

My mind drifted to the folder I'd been working on before he came and suddenly I knew how to solve the problem that had been bothering me for the last few hours. I left the teapot and dashed past him to the paperwork on the desk, faintly hearing him voice a protest. I leafed through the documents, scribbled here and there, made some calculations, ignoring the shrill whistle from far away and the voice speaking.

"Sean!" he pulled me backwards sharply with both hands on my arms. "What are you doing?"

I took in his face, he was angry, clearly, but so was I - I'd murder the bastard if he'd made me forget my line of thought, I turned back to the papers, or rather I tried turning back, but he held my arms in a hard grip, preventing me from moving.

"You'll bloody well answer me, Sean!" he shook me ever so slightly.

"Stop it! Who the hell do you think you are?" I shouted at him tearing free.

He was quiet a moment and then he walked over to sit at the bar, pouring himself a cup of tea - he'd apparently taken it off the stove when it whistled before; I hadn't even realised that that was the sound I'd heard, but then again I would probably miss my own death if I was caught up enough in my work - rather amusing the look on my boss's face if I came to work without my body.

Ronan was regarding me solemnly while sipping his tea, I watched him drink and put it down, adding sugar and stirring, the spoon tinkling against the side of the cup - he was driving me mad.

"I thought I was your boyfriend," he said gently.

"Well, I never lied about the fact that I'm a selfish bastard, so don't try making me feel guilty about it," I answered trying very hard to indeed not feel guilty about it. I turned back to my work still hearing him sipping that tea - it had calmed him down; I was angry now, not he. This was so stupid and I was about to tell him that, when he spoke up again.

"Why are you so angry with me?"

Well, whatever I was thinking about him I had to grant that he knew me extremely well, he picked up on everything and judged my moods within a hair every time. Not even my parents knew each other that well after fifty years of marriage, and the fact that I didn't know Ronan as well as he knew me made me more than a little uncomfortable.

" Is this about me wanting you to drop me as your client?"

Should I strangle him or hug him? Who'd allowed him that sixth sense anyway? I turned and glared without answering - my excellent idea for the project was long gone by now and I couldn't focus enough to make it return as it were.

"Won't you let me finish the work I do have, and we'll talk tomorrow, all right? I'm not in the mood for this."

"Well, I was most certainly not in the mood for having my boyfriend make sarcastic remarks and hang up on me, was I?" he said and rose slowly. I sighed and scraped at the plastic of my desk chair without looking at him. He was right by my side before I made an attempt to speak again, only to be silenced by a hand on my mouth. "Don't start, you will listen for a moment."

A lecture. I should have known he was working up towards this, he had been lecturing me every time we had even the slightest disagreement the last few weeks; so far I'd allowed him to think I gave up quickly just to get away from his eloquent speeches.

"I don't have very much to say, but I do want you to listen and consider my words, all right?" I nodded with an exasperated sigh. "I only ask to be shown the courtesy of knowing what I've done to upset you. If we don't talk about things that won't mean they go away, it'll just make us drift apart, and you're clever enough to know that," I was about to give a sardonic retort, but was cut short.

"If you decide to treat me like dirt instead of someone who holds you very dear, I'll simply treat you like the spoilt brat you are - and don't shake your head - you know exactly how well that kind of approach works on you!"

There was a part of my mind that knew exactly what he was saying and began forming all sorts of intelligent things to say to stop this before it came to something I really knew I'd be better off without - only this part of me was efficiently silenced by the daft bugger who runs the rest of my brain.

"Don't think you can come in here and threaten me, I know I'm a bloody idiot for hanging up, but that doesn't give you the right to..."

That was as far as I got; he turned me around and smacked the seat of my trousers so sharply I felt my teeth grind together to prevent the cry to leave my mouth. He had to be joking, surely, he wasn't about to do this yet again?

"You were saying?"

"I was saying, that this is not a way to solve an argument!"

"Were we having an argument? I thought you were trying to shut me out until I gave up and broke things off," he glared at me, I still had my back to him, slightly bent forward with his hand gripping my arm. I tried to steady myself against the desk, but my mind reeled against standing bent over a desk.

His hand went to my belt, a bold move on his part as he didn't even do so when we made love, I had to get out of my own clothes then. Twisting around so that I came face to face with him wasn't as helpful as I'd hoped, rather it forced me to look him in the eyes, and I did not like what I saw there.

I had lost my voice, I realised this as I gaped like a stranded fish a few times. Perhaps it was for the best, my mouth was after all my own worst enemy. But I didn't want him to look at me like I was going to be shot and would have very much wanted to say something to soften the steel in his eyes.

Things quickly turned into a nightmarish sort of déjà vu. He shoved folders, paper, a wrinkled shirt and some candy wrappers out of the way before forcing me quite unkindly to bend over his lap as he sat down in the sofa. I closed my eyes wanting to think about anything except these next moments, but I couldn't stop noticing every movement he made and every tightening of his muscles.

Had it hurt this much last time? I flinched and gasped in absolute shock - this was painful! For all that I knew he had actually held back at the wedding, perhaps he had had qualms about spanking a perfect stranger, however obnoxious I'd been.

Smack after smack fell like hail on my bare bum and I wasn't even able to scream with pain. I choked on some tears and then a gasp finally turned into a sob, releasing my voice.

I sat on the floor with my forehead resting in my palm, crying angrily. He was organising my folders in a pile on the table as if it was the only thing he could think of to do.

"Why did you do that?" I asked accusingly, scowling at him without lifting my head.

"Because I love you," he said after a moment, I snorted.

"That was a stupid answer."

"It's true."

I knew it was true, in his way of thinking it added up quite nicely I was sure, only in my way of thinking it felt as if I'd stepped out in the street and had a shower of cold muddy water sprayed over me; I was humiliated and angry. Well not all that angry, I was actually surprised at how quickly my anger had turned into utter despondency.

"I can't believe you did this to me," I tried to bait him, make him say something to rekindle the anger, but he merely moved closer to me and stroked my hair.

"That is really not true, your backside should be making it very difficult not to," he laughed.

"Oh, ha, ha!" I said glumly. "You may think I will just take this every time we have a disagreement, but I'll tell you now, that's not on! I'll rather... rather..." he kissed my cheek and the smooth skin just below my ear, I swallowed.

"Not every time we have a disagreement, only when I deem your behaviour seriously lacking in civility," he said. His warm breath on my skin was very soothing and I swallowed again.

"This wasn't all that serious!"

"Wasn't it?" he asked softly.

"Was it?" I said a little distracted by his caressing hands. Then I felt a knot in my throat - I was going to start bawling again, how embarrassing. "Let go, I want to go to bed!"

He let go without a word and helped me to stand up, I heard him ask if I wanted him to leave and I made some noncommittal sounds and fled to the bathroom, where he naturally followed to pick up the pieces of my shattered self where I'd dropped them in the toilet lid.

"Sean, don't fight so hard, drop the facade for just a little while and be yourself, you don't have to hide from me," there he went again, knowing so damned much.

I straightened up, fought back every ounce of pain, bodily and mentally, and leaned over to wash my face quickly and then brushing my teeth as if simply getting ready for bed. When I was done I gingerly turned and kissed him - there was a jolt of happiness in me when he put a hand around my neck and held me still for a moment, our lips locked.

"I suppose staying is what you really want?" I said and smiled, it wasn't all fake and when he smiled back shaking his head I knew he would let this go and we'd start over.

"I told you to take the other road! What did I tell you? We're stuck here forever, you have to be the worst driver in the history of drivers!" Ronan sighed at my third outburst in less than an hour.

"Have some patience, we're not late," he said lightly.

Well of course he wasn't bothered by the fact that we were stuck in a queue - he wasn't the one being forced to sit on a sore bum while the cars ahead moved like snails on a holiday. I fidgeted and gritted my teeth.

"I'll have Carolyn bring you a soft cushion, shall I?" Ronan said benevolently and I stared in horror.

"Don't you dare, how do you think it'd make me feel having you tell your friends you... you... oh, you know what you did!"

"Apparently you don't, seeing as you can't even say it."

We started moving again finally and I declined answering him and instead persisted in telling him that he would get to our destination ever so much faster if he listened to me and took the northern route instead of the one he'd chosen. To this he replied that he knew very well where we were going and he didn't need my guiding.

We stopped in front of a nice little house with a beautiful green garden - I'm not sure the sight of it thrilled me so much for its own sake or whether it was the relief of finally getting to stand up, but I immediately adored the place.

The woman opening the door was short and slim, with brown eyes and dark hair. She beamed at us clapping her hands and then hugged Ronan and kissed his cheek. Another woman stuck her head out of the kitchen greeting us verbally saying that she'd been stuck with pealing potatoes, this was followed by a rapid exchange of hand movements and laughter from the woman in the doorway who was named Sandra.

"She says I'd better stop eyeing your boyfriend and get back to the peeling," she laughed.

"You're being audacious, young lady," Ronan said and Carolyn giggled making a few gestures that he laughed at - apparently he was better reading signs than he'd made clear to me.

"This is Sean, my latest flame," he paused to let me give him the caustic glance he expected and Carolyn smiled. She stepped closer and made some very clear signs in front of me that Ronan told me meant 'nice to meet you' and rather uncomfortably I answered that it was my pleasure. Smiling mischievously she lead us into the living room and left us there with a wave.

Ronan had told me that Carolyn didn't hear, but that she read lips very well, still it made me feel slightly awkward as it was an entirely new situation for me, he seemed aware of it because he leaned forward to kiss me once we were left alone mumbling something about that going all right.

"Did you think I'd make an idiot out of myself?" I mumbled tickling him where I knew I'd have him squirming.

"No, of course not, I was more afraid Carolyn would pull some prank, she's such a brat..." he laughed and I couldn't help grinning.

"A brat?" I asked not quite knowing what to make of Ronan calling a grown woman a brat.

He continued in a quieter voice. "Don't fall off the sofa, Sean, but I happen to know for a fact I'm not the only one here who believes in correcting unruly partners." He had been right to warn me, I almost did fall off the sofa.

Sebastian and Lee arrived a few minuets later and I was greeted with extraordinary warmth by Lee, actually warm enough for Ronan to bristle where he stood next to Sebastian - who he in turn had hugged quite affectionately.

As the girls served the food I looked curiously and a bit nervously at Carolyn, but the way she appeared to be teasing Sandra in a loving manner gave me no clue that Ronan was right, he probably wasn't I decided; he couldn't be... could he? Then again I didn't act differently around him today from any other day, did I? I was so confused.

"So did it take long to get here?" Sandra asked me with a smile, she seemed to want me to join the conversation.

"A bit, Ronan insisted on taking the long way around," I said and threw him a glance just to check that he wouldn't go asking Carolyn for that cushion.

"No, you didn't? I've told him to take the northern route, he's just so stubborn!"

"That's what I said!" I laughed and Ronan made a face as if he was about to put his tongue out at me, but of course he didn't.

Carolyn flashed a quick string of signs at Sandra while getting up for the afters, Sandra laughed and shook her head at Sebastian's question on what she'd said. Carolyn came back placing a bowl of ice cream on the table - and as she bent over, a slender hand came up and placed a smack on her thigh that made her jump and blush.

I looked sideways at Ronan, who smiled at his plate. Bastard!