Banned from Paradise

Bored, bored, bored, so I decided to bore you lot too. It's short, written awhile ago f/f read the notes as per usual. Hope you'll enjoy, see ya all next week :-)


Title: Banned from Paradise 
Author: Dice 
Pairing: OCs Kate/Jill 
Author's Note: I've written about these two before, in The Lamp and in The Xmas Gift, it's not a continuation and you don't have to have read those before this. 
Warning: Bashing of certain religious beliefs ahead – this is anger management right up there with my rants.


"AAARGH!!" Jill's roar of anger echoed through the apartment and Kate dropped the bra she was putting on and ran into the living room. She was just in time from saving their computer screen from being smashed into smithereens by the keyboard.

"JILL!!!" she yelled when her lithe partner turned around and hurled her soda can across the room – a rain of Pepsi sprinkled the living room beautifully in the evening sun as Kate heard herself cry out. They both looked at the smashed can, now lying in a heap of shattered glass underneath the print of Monet's `La Promenade', in varying degrees of shock and alarm.

Kate swallowed once and closed her eyes, certain that when she opened them the living room would look its normal spotless, albeit cluttered, self. To her disappointment, this did in fact not happen.

"Oh, god! Katy! I'm so sorry!" Jill put her knuckles in her mouth and started to gnaw at them in a worrying way. When Kate looked at her she was almost crying.

"It's ok, sweetheart," she forced herself to say and was surprised at how deadly calm and yet cheerful she sounded. "We'll just tidy it up." Pretending to be calm actually calmed her down after a moment and she felt the pounding in her temples starting to abate.


After getting dressed Kate told her in that oddly cheerful voice to stay the hell away from the glass as she didn't want another trip to the emergency to stitch up Jill's meddling fingers. Jill groaned, it was only that *one* time she'd stuck her fingers in a pile of broken glass and Kate would never let her live it down!

Jill sneaked into the kitchen to fetch some stuff to clean up the soda with, grateful that she didn't have to go to the emergency for other, more pressing reasons… rabid girlfriend reasons. She was sure Kate would be rabid, once she snapped out of this dazed state.

They cleaned up the living room in silence and when they were finally done and Kate had tossed the glass out and made a note about getting the painting fixed, they sat down at the kitchen table with coffee. Jill found the situation quite cosy, well she would have if her heart hadn't been trying to bust out of her ribcage in sheer terror.

"So…" Kate said in a very familiar, very scary tone of voice. "Mind telling me why you felt the need to commit random acts of violence and destruction?"

Jill swallowed once and closed her eyes, certain that when she opened them Kate would have turned into a flower pot. To her disappointment, this did in fact not happen. Cringing she confronted her fears and started explaining.

"You see, I was on The Sims BBS, and well reading some messages about the new extension pack… you know, Makin' Magic?" she said and risked a sheepish grin.

"And?" Kate prodded.

"And what?" Jill asked naively, the smile faltering.

"Well you reading messages on the BBS, doesn't exactly explain why you decided to go all Steven Seagal on our living room!"

Jill blushed and started biting her nails until Kate smacked her on the wrist. Why was she having so much trouble explaining herself?!

"Well, you know all those religious fanatics on there?!" she began and Kate made an expressive noise and rolled her eyes. "Well they were going on about how evil magic is and stuff – it was the same idiot who didn't want homosexuality in The Sims 2!" Jill suddenly felt the anger return full force and she half stood up. "I got so mad and started replying to all her messages, I mean how medieval can you get?! They're so fucking stupid!!"

Kate raised her eyebrows in a poignant expression and Jill got the message, sitting back down. Kate shook her head slightly.

"Anyway, I got a little carried away…" she finished lamely.

"I understand," Kate said, sounding grim. "Well you know I get as riled as… well that I get riled too when they start their preaching, but honey you can't go around calling them names, it won't help. What did you write?"

"Er… well, nothing…" she caught Kate's meaningful look. "I mean… oh ok! I called her a medieval fucktard with nothing better to do than to jerk off to the bible… we're banned from the BBS for four weeks…"


Kate drew a sigh of disgust.

"Really? You couldn't have kept from swearing at her?" she asked pointedly.

"Well Ms. amoebagirl, or whatever she's calling herself, shouldn't have called me a revolting slut and said she hoped I'd burn in hell! She's banned too, if you want to know," Jill said as a way of justification. "I just stood up for myself!"

Kate, while agreeing that Jill's cause was quite noble and of course believing in the rightness of standing up for their lifestyle, let her forehead sink into her hand so that her lover wouldn't see her grinning like mad.

When she looked up she had her facial features once again schooled and under her control. Jill looked as if she wished for the floor to swallow her up.

"I'm sorry, I went too far, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. However, seeing as you weren't solely to blame…" Kate began haughtily and was rudely interrupted.

"You won't spank me?!"

Jill looked blissful for about two seconds and then her face fell as Kate made a beckoning gesture with one index finger.

She moved her chair out a little and tipped her girlfriend forward over her lap. She didn't remove her pants, as much as she loved to look at Jill's bare bottom as it wiggled underneath her punishing hand, she just couldn't bring herself to be that hard on the poor girl.

However, she spanked hard, not holding back – the little spitfire had got them banned from the Sims BBS after all and Kate hated being punished for something she hadn't done.

"Alright, get up!" she said when Jill started making sobbing sounds.

Kate immediately pulled her down on her lap when she saw her troubled face and rocked her there for a moment.

"You know, I ought to ban you from the game for a month!" she said threateningly, Jill squawked in protest and tried to push herself free.

"That's not fair!! You can't do that!" she cried out half panic stricken.

"Oh, calm down, I won't! I won't!" she snuggled into Jill's sweater and held her tight. "You know, that bitch did get what was coming to her!"

"Yeah…" Jill sighed. "But I shouldn't have thrown the soda can… it was the last one." Kate glanced up at her and they both started laughing.

The End

(Note: The Sims (TM) a computer game made by EA Games, the latest extension pack coming out in October has the working title Makin' Magic.)

(Note2: The Sims 2 (TM) a computer game coming out in 2004, a sequel to The Sims (TM) and something the author looks forward to very much.)

(Er.. Note3: The argument on the Sims BBS is completely made up, although feelings, pro and con, are passionate about the next extension pack. To my knowledge – which isn't that extensive, seeing as every board has like 20,000 posts to go through – no one has said anything demeaning about homosexuals on this BBS… and if they did I'm sure they'd be banned ;-)