Of Rabbits and Nosy Strangers

Runaway, Part 1.
Of Rabbits and Nosy Strangers

Can you help me remember how to smile? 

Make it somehow all seem worthwhile?

How on earth did I get so jaded?

Life's mystery seems so faded

`Runaway Train' Soul Asylum

A rabbit dashed out right in front of my car and I hit the brakes. The car screeched to a halt… and ever so slowly slid into the ditch. I stared at the shrubs pressed up against the windscreen, what the hell was I supposed to do now?

Trinity started crying and two seconds later Chastity joined in the wailing. I looked back at the twins in the back seat, they weren't hurt, at least didn't look it, but they were tilted forward in their seats and not happy about it. Apparently my driving wasn't up to the two-year-olds' standard. I struggled out of the seatbelt; the bloody thing tried to strangle me twice before I was out of it.

I slammed the door shut and walked two steps away from the car and started swearing. Brilliant! What the hell was I supposed to do now?! The girls kept wailing and I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. No point in crying, I couldn't let this bring me down, not now, not when I'd got so far. Still getting far without a goal seemed hopeless.

I got the girls out of the car and tried to comfort them. I didn't dare hitchhike, if I did he might find me, or one of his friends.

Damn countryside roads! Damn stupid brakes! Damn howling twins!

I was almost crying. My stomach hurt, I hadn't eaten in a day. The twins had gotten the last sandwich almost two hours ago. I guessed they were hungry too. Hungry, tired and unchanged. I had no nappies left either. I had nothing at all left, to be honest. No money, no food, no clean clothes. I dragged the duffle bag out of the back of the car and then stared at the twins. Trinity stood with her little hands clenched at her sides, wailing as if someone had turned on a siren and Chastity had sat down in the dirt mimicking her sister's loud crying.

I wanted to cry too.

What was I supposed to do? Without a car I was dead, he'd kill me for certain if he found me this time. He didn't know where I'd gone. Couldn't because I didn't know where I was going. But that hadn't stopped him from finding me before and I hadn't had the twins to worry about those times.

I shouldn't have brought them along. I shouldn't have ever had them at all. `But then again, you tried to get rid of them, didn't you?' a little voice inside reminded me. I wrapped my arms around myself.

Damn bloody rabbit!

I had to think! I glared at the twins. Who could think with those two banshees around. I started going through the duffle bag, there had to be something in there. Anything! Nothing.

The September air was chilly and though the drizzle had stopped temporarily the bleak sky told of more to come. My chest ached. A tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away as quickly as I could. Twins be damned! I couldn't stay here!

I started walking.

The girls' crying chased me all the way to the crossroads. I stopped, looked at the sign. Six miles to the nearest town. Or village more like – who knew around these parts, might well be a pit in the road.

I stood there listening to the crying that seemed to go on and on. And then it stopped.

My heart started racing. I turned around and started running. My girls! My babies!

There was a stranger by my car, he was dressed in plain jeans and an off-white, woollen jersey of a kind I associated with shepherds or the likes. My eyes drifted to his broad leather belt as if it called out to them. I shook myself. He wasn't bad looking, though quite a bit older than any man I'd dated. There was something earthy about him. Something rough and durable like an old oak tree.

He was crouching down with Chastity on one knee. His hands ran gently over Trinity as he looked her over, concern in his eyes.

"Hey!" I called angrily with a voice that cracked. I coughed into my hand and walked up to him, snatching Chastity from his arms as he rose. She screeched and Trinity started crying again. "Shush now! Mummy's here, it's ok!"

I knew I sounded feeble. I couldn't make them shut up. Never could. They always drove me mad. Sometimes they screamed until I couldn't take it and shut them in the closet just to be rid of them. I bounced Chastity up and down on my arm.

"I's wonderin' if they were out 'ere on their own like. Dog picked up on the cryin'…" the man began uncomfortably and I noticed the huge black dog sniffing around the car. I yanked Trinity backwards away from the horrid animal, she objected the rough treatment by wailing louder still. "'Ere now, 'e won't bite!" the man noticed my look and bent to scratch the dog behind the ears – the same hands that had touched my daughter!

"They ain't alone! They're with me!" I snapped.

"Yeah…" he looked at me, his eyes travelling from my plimsolls and up over my torn jeans and the tatty blue and grey cardigan that was much too big, it's arms concealing my hands. It lacked buttons so I'd tied it at my waist, just barely covering up the black t-shirt with the Brainstorm print that was his and which I'd turned inside out.

I swallowed and took another step back. I was used to guys looking me over quite candidly, but not with eyes like his, sharp and assessing. Whatever assessment he made I didn't care to find out – I was leaving.

"Sign says six miles, so we've a fair bit to go…" I said, looking down my nose at him, even though I had to look up. I turned, my hand clutching Trinity's. She was howling her heart out and Chastity was struggling against my hard grip on her.

"You makin' them tots walk six miles?" he gave me quizzical look then shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't allow that, Mrs…"

"It ain't got nothing to do with you, leave us alone!" I snarled and dragged Trinity with me, though she dug her little heels in and screamed. The man stared after us. I felt my temper rise. Damn bloody rabbits! Damn nosy strangers! Damn bawling kids! I was breaking apart, my foot snagged on a rock and I stumbled, Chastity whipping forward before I caught her. "SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" I screamed, turning on Trinity, who stared at me wide eyed and lip quivering. Then she scrunched up her face and howled again.

I let Chastity drop to the ground and gave Trinity a shake.

"Shut up! You hear me? Shut up!" I raised a hand to smack her leg – anything, just so she'd listen, just so she'd shut up!

My hand was grabbed and I was pulled back up sharply.

I stared at the stranger. He was towering over me now. Big and strong and with a menacing look that made me flinch hard.

"You ent hittin' a baby in my sight, gel!" he growled and I shook my head, trying to twist free. He let me go quietly. "Now, you 'ad better calm yerself right down and let me ring fer a tow truck an' we'll pull yer car up on the road, eh?"

I winced at his tone. He was used to have people heeding him and didn't make a secret of demanding it of me. I nodded slowly, true to my training and used to obeying to keep the peace.

"I live jest 'cross this field 'ere, not far… looks to me like you could use some rest… and the little ones an' all…" he picked up Trinity and then Chastity – both fell silent within moments, secure in his strong arms. Jealousy burnt inside me, but of him or them I wasn't sure. "Name's Ronald, Ronald Whitrow, Ron to most…"

I kept my eyes on the mutt trailing alongside us, sniffing for something in the grass. I hated dogs. Big, ugly, hairy monsters that they were, smelly, dirty and treacherous.

He led the way across the field. I saw a house on the other side. A small clay coloured house, with a thatched roof and chimney blowing light wafts of smoke towards the sky. As we came closer I saw white roses climbing around the doorway and up around the nearest windows. There were well kept flowerbeds all around the house and to one side a vegetable garden.

It looked like a picture out of a Victorian gardening book. I found myself captivated by the tranquillity of the place.

"This is it… what?" he stopped a few feet in front of me and I realised I'd stopped at the gate, lost in thoughts.

"Oh, sorry…" I croaked out, following him inside.


The house was almost as quaint indoors as outdoors. It was tidy, though with a cosy well lived in feeling to it. I felt horribly out of place in my shabby, modern clothes.

"There's a bathroom past there," he nodded down a narrow hallway. "No nappies, I'm afraid, but at least you can clean them up, eh? I'll put the kettle on, the little ones are prob'ly 'ungry." He handed Chastity to me and she started sobbing – I fled into the bathroom before he noticed her crying, it was embarrassing.

When I came out with her, he'd turned the radio on and he was singing along to an old Beetle's tune and making funny faces at Trinity, who laughed, her face sticky with jam from the scone he'd given her.

"I'll take her later…" I said quietly when he made to pick her up. "Better if she gets to eat when she's started." He chuckled and gave a curt nod.

"S'pose you're right, never had a baby 'round before," he confessed as he spread generously with jam on another piece of bread to give to Chastity. The jam was red I noted, and he took it from a jar with a homemade label, which hinted that the content was homemade as well.

The kitchen was all in white washed wood, there was a cupboard with glass doors, revealing neat rows of glasses and fine china. There was a blue striped tablecloth and curtains that matched and on the windowsill there were three blue African Violets in full bloom.

He had warmed the scones in the oven and the room smelled pleasantly of fresh bread. My stomach grumbled loudly.

"You 'ungry too?" he grinned. I blushed, but nodded, I couldn't pass up food when it was offered, I didn't have any money to buy something later anyway.

He put the jar on the table and gave me the bread and the knife. Then he continued to brush off the crumbs from the counter and wash his hands. He looked so at home there that I started wondering if he lived alone. No man I'd ever known had known their way around the kitchen.

I was about to comment on it when the song ended and a lady announced the news. He turned the volume up a notch and then began filling a bowl with water for the dog, which was outside somewhere still to my great relief. I shuddered and wrapped an arm around myself, then I took a bite of my scone.

The woman chattered on about the usual affairs, wars and disasters and then lightly continued with a weather forecast. More rain.

"An' what's your name then, eh?" I looked up when he spoke, but he was turned to Chastity and tickling her under the chin. She scrunched up her face and giggled.

"Tatty," she stated her own name for herself with sparkling eyes and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow as for a translation. I cringed. I didn't want to tell him our names, though I knew it was awfully rude not to.

I turned back to the scones and said nothing.

"Tinny!" Trinity introduced herself and then pushed her sister who I'd placed on a chair at the table, her look jealous and crabby. "Tatty go 'way!" her vocabulary was somewhat richer than her sister's but either spoke very much.

Chastity pushed her back with a sticky hand that smeared jam in Trinity's fair hair, I gritted my teeth and decided to break up the pending storm. I picked her up and she started screaming at once. I roughly pulled the remains of the scone from her hand and threw the soggy mess in the sink. She hollered as if I was about to murder her and I closed my eyes carrying her into the bathroom.

Once alone with her I snatched her knickers off and the nappies and then washed her though she wriggled and squirmed all the while trying to escape and she screamed for all she was worth. My head was about to explode.

"Shut up!" I hissed between clenched teeth, but she only blubbered louder and before I knew it I'd given her a smack on her bare bottom. It left a red imprint and it made her screech like wild.

I let her go and she ran and hid behind the toilet, giving me doe eyed looks from red brimmed eyes. I was a monster. I was a horrible mother. Guilt washed over me. I shouldn't have brought them with me without even a place to go. What was I supposed to do? I was running head over heels right towards a high cliff and there was nobody there to catch me as I jumped off.

I pulled myself together slowly and rubbed the ridge of my nose to stop the tears from welling up like they wanted. I turned the tap on again and let cold water fill my hands. Washing my face, I realised for the first time how terribly filthy I was. My blond hair was oily and looked almost grey; it clung to my temples in grimy strands and I ran my wet fingers through it, fastening the tendrils behind my ears.

I slid a finger inside my collar and pulled it down, a gesture brought on by some morbid fascination rather than any actual need to have a look. It looked the same as it had in the rear view mirror, a glaring blotch against my white skin, the scab was nearly black from dried blood and the edges had oozed pus that had dried to a crust. I shuddered and covered it up.

Nothing that showed if I was dressed, not a mark where anyone could see, I let the cardigan slid further down over my hands.

Trinity was still crying, but it was a tired, muffled crying. She looked so small and frightened, huddled behind the toilet. I suddenly feared going out into the cosy, little kitchen again and the kind man, who had wrapped my two little horrors around his finger in a heartbeat.

At length I couldn't bear the gaunt, pallid woman staring at me with her hollow eyes any longer and drew a deep breath before I tackled the chore of getting Trinity dressed again.

She fled from me when I opened the bathroom door and knocked her head on a table, she set of a flood of heart-rending cries and I groaned.

"Suit yourself," I muttered, picking her up, but my attempt to comfort her was thwarted by her squirming until I let her down again. "Have it your way, then!" I snapped watching her scuttle into the kitchen.

I heard his voice. He seemed to be on the phone and interrupting a conversation to speak soothingly to Trinity. I waited, listening.

"All right sweetie, 's all right… There's nothing? …You sure? …Well, all right then, thank you… Bye."

My stomach twisted sharply. He'd called the police. There was no doubt about it. I closed my eyes. Damn nosy strangers! I gritted my teeth hard, they'd break any day now. My head pounded and I couldn't keep the tears away much longer. What was I supposed to do?

`Charm him,' the little voice told me. `Flirt a bit, all men want sex, let him think you're willing, nothing you haven't done before.' I swallowed and unclenched my teeth with a great effort. I breathed in deeply and smiled.

"Sorry to leave you alone with them," I said, my voice not quite obeying me, it seemed to be trembling. I slid into the chair I'd sat in before and smiled at him.

He was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and watching me with a grim look. My resolve to be charming wavered – it'd be better to take the twins and go. But where would I go? Walk six miles with the twins was just not an option. I swallowed again, though there was nothing to swallow, my mouth was completely dry.

The twins were exploring the kitchen and I was glad the dog was still outside, though I shuddered to think of all the dirty hairs and germs it'd no doubt left on the floor.

"That's all right, so what brings you 'round these parts, Mrs…?" there was no getting around answering. His riveting eyes didn't leave me and if I didn't have a reply he'd become even more suspicious.

"I'm Aileen… Trivett," I deliberately used my maiden name. I'd never use his again. Never. "I'm, me and my girls, are goin' to visit my mum. I haven't seen her in ages," I made up the lie as I went along, something simple, easy to remember and easy to believe. "I'm sorry I was such a witch, but wot with drivin' off the road and everythin' I was in a right state."

"Feelin' better now, are we?" he asked curtly. I nodded and batted my eyelashes. "Hmph, 'ave some 'o that tea, Mrs Trivett, it'll do you some good."

I didn't understand, he was entirely impervious to my attempts at being amiable. I wasn't used to that – he may call me a revolting slut, but it was slut he lingered on, that's what made his eyes turn cold and black. Men liked me, whatever I did to stop them, they had always wanted me.

But this man didn't care.

"It's Miss, actually," I said and forced a naive giggle. "You can call me Aileen." I tilted my head to the side, looking at him with lowered lids and a shy smile.

"Right…" he said and straightened up, his arms falling free. "Let's see what we can do 'bout that tow truck, then?"

I stared at his back as he turned towards the phone, my mouth hanging open slightly, I snapped it shut. Stubborn old sod. I frowned a little and chewed my lip.

Then Chastity gave up a cry that jerked me out of my thoughts. Trinity was pinching her leg and trying to get something that she was holding. It turned out to be a crushed flower from the African Violets on the windowsill. I pulled them apart and took Chastity on my lap.

"Look at wot you did to the pretty flower…" I murmured and put it on the table.

"Petty fower," Chastity beamed.

"Yeah, pretty flower and you're my pretty flower, aren't you?" I hugged her, glancing at Trinity and thinking for a moment that I might reach out to her, but she stomped off as soon as she caught me looking and slipped in behind the open kitchen door.

I looked up to find the man watching me, his face pensive. I felt a blush creep up around my ears and quickly looked away. I heard him dialling a number and then the room was quiet. Chastity was leaning against my chest and I rested my cheek against her hair. It was greasy too, like mine.

"Freddy? Hullo, son, it's Ronald Whitrow, you 'ave yer dad in?" he scratched his left ear while he waited and sent me an unsmiling look now and again, the silence was heavy. "Avery. `Ow's the missus? Good… oh, I ent complainin', you know me… listen, I 'ave a gel 'ere with 'er car gone off the road… no, she's all right, jest needs a tow, 's all… I see, uhuh, well, nothin' to be done then I reckon… you do that… thanks, bye."

He hung up and stood quiet for a while and then he turned with a mirthless half smile and an apologetic shrug, shaking his head.

"Seems the tow truck needs as much towing as anyone," he stated.

"Wot's that mean?" I demanded, suddenly worried.

I let Chastity, who'd been close to sleeping, slide to the floor beside me and ignored her whining and the little hands that reached pleadingly towards me.

"Means you'll `ave to wait a day fer `im to fix his flat tyre," the man chuckled, I half rose. What was he saying? I couldn't stay in one place for that long! I started shaking and sweating. "'Ey now! Calm yerself, gel, it's jest a day, it ent the end of the world."

But it was, it was the end of the world. He'd find me, he'd kill me! I hugged myself tightly and fought the urge to huddle up and cry.

He bent over me and placed his hands on my shoulders, crouching down when I wouldn't relax. He began stroking my arms lightly as if he were trying to warm me up.

"There now, what's this about then? Calm down, gel, tell me what's wrong," he spoke softly and I felt the tears burn behind my eyelids. I would not break down! I couldn't! Mustn't!

I tried to break free and get up, but he held me still, his grip just tightening slightly around my elbows, it was enough for a sharp pain to shoot through my arm from a bruise above my right elbow joint, I gasped and he let go as abruptly as if I'd screamed.

His eyes met mine and I bit down hard on my lip so he wouldn't see how it trembled. He frowned, genuinely concerned and I felt suddenly sick in my stomach. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone. Damn nosy strangers. Shouldn't have let him help. I should have run over the bloody rabbit.

Sounds of a car drawing up outside made me jump up from the chair, heart thumping. He'd found me! I felt my legs buckling up underneath me and then saw the ceiling suddenly spinning around underneath me.

"Oi!"



As I woke up I found myself lain out on a small settee, my head propped up on a pillow. The room was quiet and I looked around taking in my surroundings. I vaguely recalled having been carried in here, but the memory was foggy. The walls were covered in wine coloured wall paper and there were overstuffed bookshelves all around and a fireplace in front of which stood a large armchair with a blanket thrown across it.

I closed my eyes.

Then I sat up gingerly, easing my legs down on the floor. The faintness seemed to have passed. I licked my dry lips. I could do with some water right about now.

Quietly I tiptoed up to the door and gave the doorknob an experimental twist and the door opened. I listened for sounds of anyone nearby, but there was nothing. Stepping out through the door though I heard low voices. I was in the small hallway leading out and to the kitchen, from which the voices were coming.

I walked up to the kitchen door. It was closed. Someone had gone to great lengths to assure that the house remained quiet.

"…s'posed to do then? Let 'er go on 'er merry way as if we'd never laid eyes on 'er?" it was the man, Ronald, but the voice that answered him was one I hadn't heard before, it was male as well and it sounded irritable.

"I ent sayin' that, but what's it to us really?"

"I dunno… I jest dunno, but I ent sittin' by doin' nothin'," Ronald continued.

"You never do, do you? What if she's a bleedin' nutter, eh? What then?"

"Oh, don't be daft, Adrian…"

I backed away from the door and promptly banged my heel on the little table and knocked over a vase that crashed to the floor and shattered into a million pieces.

"Bloody hell," I hissed between clenched teeth. I shrunk back from the kitchen door where Ronald's face became visible and behind him a younger man with dirt blond hair.

"'S all right, Miss Trivett, why don't you come in 'ere for a while, 'ow's yer head?"

I allowed myself to be led into the kitchen, my eyes darting around for the twins, but there was no sign of them. However the big black dog lay on the floor, its head resting on its front paws, it looked up slightly when we entered, but didn't move.

I drew back, a convulsive tremor going through me and backed into Ronald, who put a gentle, but firm hand on my shoulder and steered me into the kitchen.

"'E ent the bitin' sort, don't you worry yerself none," he assured me and then added as if he'd heard my unasked question. "The little ones are sleepin', dead on their feet, poor things." I nodded warily as he pulled out a chair for me. "Now sit, gel, there's a few questions I'd liked answered, if you don't mind."

To be continued

Next episode coming soon to a computer near you!